I know there are quite a few people that have tried to post comments to the blog but unfortunately they have not showed up!!! I ask you please, if you are having problems or suspect that the comment never went through then email the comment to me at:
asuskin@hotmail.com
and I will be happy to publish it for you. It seems that there are lots of comments that have gone askew. Many thanks.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Weekend Update
Thursday and Friday were tough days for me. It wasn't anything major physical really. Just some mild swallowing pain (like a sore throat). But, it was emotional and a lot of anxiety. It is extremely hard to get a logical hold on what's going on and to try and explain why you feel the way you do. There are just so many thoughts going through your mind. You try and use the mental tools that the Doctors, family and friends all around you have told you about. It boils down to what you want to be..........a victim or a survivor! I promise you all I have not chosen victim. On Fridays session at Dr. Levy he really helped with these issues. The mind is an incredibly powerful tool and I have certainly come to realise that.
Oh yea. My walks with Max in our forest are still a multiple daily event. It's somewhat cool and shaded so that helps with the heat. I have slowed up a bit during these walks. Go figure. Max is still patient. Bounds ahead and then waits. You can just sense that he is looking and tapping at his "little dog watch" saying "keep up, what the hell is wrong with you?".
Before I continue, I'm very pleased to let you all know that my English secretary is back and so a little reprieve for me especially as I haven't been feeling as good as at the beginning of the week.
Actually for those who don't know it's me ,Rus, the bigger (in every sense) sister!! I arrived yesterday (Friday) and Ade,Diana and Robyn had come to pick me up!! Awesome to see them again and although Ade looked tired we soon arrived back at the house,relaxed,had something to eat/drink and he rallied slightly. Just one of the 'not so good days' that we know happen from time to time. Ade had an amazing beginning of the week as you can all read but Friday....well the Rick Levy bit was good!
We had a delicious Shabbat (Sabbath) dinner cooked by Di and we all enjoyed being together. Early night and looking forward to a day at the pool with my bro!!
I wasn't the only one up at 4pm on Saturday! Yes, he had an awful night and I'm sure not much has been written about the sleep issues in his blog so I will try and elaborate so we're all on the same page! Ade has always had very defined ideas about how one should sleep and without his 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep he is literally a 'basket case'! My little sis is the same so she probably could elaborate better. For whatever reasons, if he does not have a good night or a few good hours of sleep the day is horrid and even a nap during daylight does not make up for it! We have the 'bathe with bubble bath and candles' before bed,the 'reading and take a tablet just as you nod off' routine,the 'stay up for ages' plan, and mostly it's just random...maybe some of you have better methods but perhaps it's part of the chemo doing it's job!
So, we had a little walk in the forest,ate a little brekkie and sat outside in the magnificent surroundings in what was perfect weather! Then he did try to have a nap and when that didn't work we all went swimming! Magic! Water seems to do it every time.
Not much movement from the house and pool (why would you?) and so we invited friends for dinner!
Hey it's me again (Ade). Sunday was a better day. Had a swim in the morning, a massage at lunch time and a movie in the afternoon. A French movie called " tell no one". Very good indeed. Followed all this up with the obligatory Sunday Chinese take out dinner with the family. Great!
Oh yea. My walks with Max in our forest are still a multiple daily event. It's somewhat cool and shaded so that helps with the heat. I have slowed up a bit during these walks. Go figure. Max is still patient. Bounds ahead and then waits. You can just sense that he is looking and tapping at his "little dog watch" saying "keep up, what the hell is wrong with you?".
Before I continue, I'm very pleased to let you all know that my English secretary is back and so a little reprieve for me especially as I haven't been feeling as good as at the beginning of the week.
Actually for those who don't know it's me ,Rus, the bigger (in every sense) sister!! I arrived yesterday (Friday) and Ade,Diana and Robyn had come to pick me up!! Awesome to see them again and although Ade looked tired we soon arrived back at the house,relaxed,had something to eat/drink and he rallied slightly. Just one of the 'not so good days' that we know happen from time to time. Ade had an amazing beginning of the week as you can all read but Friday....well the Rick Levy bit was good!
We had a delicious Shabbat (Sabbath) dinner cooked by Di and we all enjoyed being together. Early night and looking forward to a day at the pool with my bro!!
I wasn't the only one up at 4pm on Saturday! Yes, he had an awful night and I'm sure not much has been written about the sleep issues in his blog so I will try and elaborate so we're all on the same page! Ade has always had very defined ideas about how one should sleep and without his 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep he is literally a 'basket case'! My little sis is the same so she probably could elaborate better. For whatever reasons, if he does not have a good night or a few good hours of sleep the day is horrid and even a nap during daylight does not make up for it! We have the 'bathe with bubble bath and candles' before bed,the 'reading and take a tablet just as you nod off' routine,the 'stay up for ages' plan, and mostly it's just random...maybe some of you have better methods but perhaps it's part of the chemo doing it's job!
So, we had a little walk in the forest,ate a little brekkie and sat outside in the magnificent surroundings in what was perfect weather! Then he did try to have a nap and when that didn't work we all went swimming! Magic! Water seems to do it every time.
Not much movement from the house and pool (why would you?) and so we invited friends for dinner!
Hey it's me again (Ade). Sunday was a better day. Had a swim in the morning, a massage at lunch time and a movie in the afternoon. A French movie called " tell no one". Very good indeed. Followed all this up with the obligatory Sunday Chinese take out dinner with the family. Great!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
My weight (or lack of)
What I have come to vividly understand through this ordeal is how important a good diet is. Having said that, the chemo treatments do wonders to your appetite and taste buds and so the good diet seems to fade away. I don't mean good diet in the sense of ultra healthy etc etc. Of course you should eat well but the main thing is to eat. Everyone around me has been incredible trying to help me through this. Must be a Jewish food thing!!! I have been told on a number of occassions that slight weight loss during treatment is normal. Phew.
The face rash has improved considerably. Maybe I will post a before and after shot. I don't want to be too premature because the Doctors did mention it could flair up again. There goes my hopes of Prom night.
I seem to have had a few pretty decent days even after the heavy chemo Monday. They did lower the dosages slightly but assured me the effectiveness was not compromised. The tiredness and fatigue are still with me. Sleep is my friend, sleep is my friend, sleep is my friend............................................
The face rash has improved considerably. Maybe I will post a before and after shot. I don't want to be too premature because the Doctors did mention it could flair up again. There goes my hopes of Prom night.
I seem to have had a few pretty decent days even after the heavy chemo Monday. They did lower the dosages slightly but assured me the effectiveness was not compromised. The tiredness and fatigue are still with me. Sleep is my friend, sleep is my friend, sleep is my friend............................................
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Wednesday's vet visit
No, not for me! It's for Max. Gotta take him in for his yearly Lyme vaccine shot. Otherwise, he is doing quite well for an 11 year old Wheaten Terrier. Still enjoys his walks in our forest with me but I can't keep up. He keeps looking back thinking "what the hell's wrong with him?".
Got an appointment with Dr. Ward today. Still trying to sort out the sleep deal. Rather crappy as of late. It reminds me of my flying days, or should I say nights? My flying Buds will relate to this quite well.
Got an appointment with Dr. Ward today. Still trying to sort out the sleep deal. Rather crappy as of late. It reminds me of my flying days, or should I say nights? My flying Buds will relate to this quite well.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tuesday bowling?
Yes, we actually went bowling. Phil, Rob, Mike and I. Rob and Mike teamed up against Phil and me. It was not pretty. In fact at times it was down right ugly. Rob was the only one who had a fairly decent game and the rest of us were pathetic. There, I said it. We were even using the small balls. But all in all, it was a lot of fun.
I'm not feeling too bad today. A bit of a guts ache but that usually happens right after the chemo. Nothing new. The nausea seems to be controlled by the meds for now but my appetite is still not great. I now have a very good idea what it must be like to be a duck. Getting food stuffed down your gullet constantly. I swear I'm gonna turn anorexic and bulimic (whatever the hell that means). It just is really difficult right now because I really do understand the value and advantages of eating well but am laboring with this.
The sleeping is still not great and even the afternoon naps are getting tougher to do. The tiredness and fatigue are still a big issue. Maybe a good afternoon swim!
I'm not feeling too bad today. A bit of a guts ache but that usually happens right after the chemo. Nothing new. The nausea seems to be controlled by the meds for now but my appetite is still not great. I now have a very good idea what it must be like to be a duck. Getting food stuffed down your gullet constantly. I swear I'm gonna turn anorexic and bulimic (whatever the hell that means). It just is really difficult right now because I really do understand the value and advantages of eating well but am laboring with this.
The sleeping is still not great and even the afternoon naps are getting tougher to do. The tiredness and fatigue are still a big issue. Maybe a good afternoon swim!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Chemo 4 (Round 2)
I arrived at the infusion center with quite an entourage. Diana, Phil and Lil were with me. Mary took us back to our usual "big" room so things were looking up. This was to be my long day as I was getting all three drugs. My blood work came back fine and so the process started. A little over 5 hours later and we were on our way home. Phew.
I am generally feeling OK. The face deal has cleared up quite nicely but no pain associated with it anymore. The fatigue and tiredness are another matter. I know that I have to start doing a very light work out to help this process. Oh well, gotta start somewhere! There is also mild swallowing pain that I attribute to gulping (wolfing) my food down. My appetite is not great now so when I eat I notice this. My weight for the most part is relatively stable. Loosly translated - too thin. 130 lbs or 59 kgs or 9.3 stone.
Had a swim. Wonderful.
I am generally feeling OK. The face deal has cleared up quite nicely but no pain associated with it anymore. The fatigue and tiredness are another matter. I know that I have to start doing a very light work out to help this process. Oh well, gotta start somewhere! There is also mild swallowing pain that I attribute to gulping (wolfing) my food down. My appetite is not great now so when I eat I notice this. My weight for the most part is relatively stable. Loosly translated - too thin. 130 lbs or 59 kgs or 9.3 stone.
Had a swim. Wonderful.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Weekend Update
We have had a somewhat busy couple of days. On Thursday we went to see Dr. Ward. We discussed the sleep meds and other things. Hope fully the meds will start taking effect. It seems that way. Sleeping is getting a little better.
Friday we drove out to Gaithersburg to see Dr. Rick levy. Another very interesting session. We did some Hypno-regression where we went back to my childhood growing up in Rhodesia (Zimbabwe). The crux of the session was to take me back to a time where my body and mind where in excellent health. Well mostly so other than the usual sports related injuries!!! We then essentially used the images and energies to help augment healing me now. It was quite interesting. He then did some energy healing on me. I really need this as my energy level is quite low right now. Go figure! We will see him again next Friday.
With my energy level being so low and my lack of sleep, we stayed around the house for the weekend. It has been disgustingly hot here in Baltimore for the last couple of days which makes for going outside a little tough. I do still manage to go for walks with Max in our Forest, which is mostly shaded. Late afternoon, when parts of the pool are shaded, it's swimming time. (I need to avoid the sun because of the meds).I'll be honest, it was my first swim of the season. The water temp was 88 degrees F or 31 degrees Celsius. Bloody nice. I will try and make this swim time a daily event.
Phil and Lil (Daughter-Niece) came in from New York on Sunday to spend some more time with us. It was really nice to see Lil. Haven't seen her in a while. As usual, it's always great to have their company. I also went for a massage Sunday lunch time. Quite relaxing.
Friday we drove out to Gaithersburg to see Dr. Rick levy. Another very interesting session. We did some Hypno-regression where we went back to my childhood growing up in Rhodesia (Zimbabwe). The crux of the session was to take me back to a time where my body and mind where in excellent health. Well mostly so other than the usual sports related injuries!!! We then essentially used the images and energies to help augment healing me now. It was quite interesting. He then did some energy healing on me. I really need this as my energy level is quite low right now. Go figure! We will see him again next Friday.
With my energy level being so low and my lack of sleep, we stayed around the house for the weekend. It has been disgustingly hot here in Baltimore for the last couple of days which makes for going outside a little tough. I do still manage to go for walks with Max in our Forest, which is mostly shaded. Late afternoon, when parts of the pool are shaded, it's swimming time. (I need to avoid the sun because of the meds).I'll be honest, it was my first swim of the season. The water temp was 88 degrees F or 31 degrees Celsius. Bloody nice. I will try and make this swim time a daily event.
Phil and Lil (Daughter-Niece) came in from New York on Sunday to spend some more time with us. It was really nice to see Lil. Haven't seen her in a while. As usual, it's always great to have their company. I also went for a massage Sunday lunch time. Quite relaxing.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Chemo 3 (Round 2)
Finally back with Mary for the chemo infusions. It was good to see her again as she was away on vacation. We met with Dr. Erlich prior to the treatment to discuss a number of concerns and issues. All our questions and concerns were answered. Today I am only getting Erbetux so the week ahead should be somewhat easier (I hope). Physically I feel a bit better but my weight is still way down. My appetite is not what it was but hopefully it will come back. This may be due to the new meds. I am continuing to get the emotional support I need and hopefully will start to see improvement in the not too distant future.
Diana and the kids are wonderful and supportive as usual and Max never leaves me alone. It's a bit of a pain as when I am trying to get an afternoon nap he needs to lie next to me. When he decides to scratch himself it feels like a minor 2.0 earthquake! Yea, I know, kick him off the bed. My Mom and Sisters continue to be amazingly supportive. I have never seen so much of them as over the past few months. I love it.
Diana and the kids are wonderful and supportive as usual and Max never leaves me alone. It's a bit of a pain as when I am trying to get an afternoon nap he needs to lie next to me. When he decides to scratch himself it feels like a minor 2.0 earthquake! Yea, I know, kick him off the bed. My Mom and Sisters continue to be amazingly supportive. I have never seen so much of them as over the past few months. I love it.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Our Gaithersberg visit
Today we met with a Psychologist by the name of Dr. Rick Levy (no, not my cousin). His practice is in Gaithersberg, Maryland. About an hour from us towards Washington. You can Google him. He is quite famous. It was quite an amazing meeting. I am looking forward to a number of meetings with him to help me help myself heal. I now understand that a big part of any recovery is of course conventional medicine but combine that with mind body healing and you have the whole package! We are quite excited about all this.
The conventional treatments plug along. Tomorrow is week 3 of the 6 week chemo course. But I am hoping for an easy day as I am only getting Erbetux tomorrow. When we started the Erbetux over 2 weeks ago we were told that I would more than likely develop a rash on my back, chest and face. The worse the rash the better the response to the drug. Well, nothing on the back or chest but a definite outbreak on the face. It's bloody ugly and looks like I'm back at Milton School in Bulawayo dealing once again with teenage acne. Please look at the picture below on an empty stomach. I accept no responsibility for any one's reaction. Hey, I still have my hair (for now)!
What did you expect, George Clooney! Let the comments fly. I have thick "SKIN".
The conventional treatments plug along. Tomorrow is week 3 of the 6 week chemo course. But I am hoping for an easy day as I am only getting Erbetux tomorrow. When we started the Erbetux over 2 weeks ago we were told that I would more than likely develop a rash on my back, chest and face. The worse the rash the better the response to the drug. Well, nothing on the back or chest but a definite outbreak on the face. It's bloody ugly and looks like I'm back at Milton School in Bulawayo dealing once again with teenage acne. Please look at the picture below on an empty stomach. I accept no responsibility for any one's reaction. Hey, I still have my hair (for now)!
What did you expect, George Clooney! Let the comments fly. I have thick "SKIN".
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Weekend Update
Greetings all,
The cartoon above was sent to me by my good friend Sandy (a fellow pilot from Toronto). It seems quite appropriate. Thanks Yoda.
Next, you will notice the latest in the Zimbabwe currency fiasco. Ilan (another very close and dear friend) sent this to me. As of yesterday it was worth a little over US$1. It is now called the "Special agro cheque". The notes are simply too big to call currency
Let me catch you up on weekend events! To say the least, it was a tough couple of days. The shot that I received on Wednesday for my white blood cell count gave me flu-like symptoms for three days, so that didn't help much. We really didn't do much the whole weekend, but what was great was Phil and Howard (her husband) drove down from New York. They spent Saturday and Sunday with us. It was great to see them again, as usual, particularly Howard, who I hadn't seen in a while. We have a busy week ahead; lots going on. Chemo, doctors, and more doctors. Oh, and a haircut on Wednesday.
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