Thursday, December 27, 2012

A very sad chronology





At 5am Diana woke me up and told me Max was having a difficult time and seemed to be in pain. I went over to her house and took Max's pain meds with me. He really seemed to be in distress and was bumping into everything. Robyn was trying to take him for a walk as he would not sit or lie down. We all took turns trying to walk him and Robyn was finally able to give him a pain pill. It took a while to take effect and he was finally able to lie down, exhausted. 

We all knew what was going on but just wanted to pretend it wasn't going to happen. Before we left for the vet Michael said his goodbyes to Max just incase he never came back with us. 

We got to the vet at 9am and they were simply amazing. I cannot say enough about Dr. Taylor's wisdom and compassion. She had been his doggie physician for the past 13 years. She checked Max out and asked us a bunch of questions. All the while being so sensitive to our feelings. We all decided the best thing for Max was to put him to sleep and that's exactly how it occurred. I never ever figured it would come to this and it was simply the most awful decision I (we) have ever made. It was disgustingly surreal.

Dr. Taylor then explained exactly what would happen and we all elected to stay in the room and be with Max when he left us. I was holding him and Robyn when he died in the hope that he knew we were with him to the end. I can tell you that it was very quick and peaceful. He went to sleep at 9:30am and I felt his breathing stop and his heart stop beating. Something drained out of me at that very moment. We were all devastated. Even Dr. taylor was sobbing. I cannot begin to explain what it's like holding a living thing as it dies. Something died in me as well !

Max will be cremated and we will have him home next week. There is an emptiness in us all now. He will forever be missed. Rest in peace old friend. We will all meet up again one day. Until then….....run free, run free.


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